The Levity of Birds

While writing to my son who is at Air Force Basic Training, I decided to relate the latest news and happenings. The incident in question tickled my funny bone and morphed as I wrote and I thought you might enjoy.

On February 16th, I ambled into a deadly contest of wills that I was unaware existed in the world. Yes…naive, uninformed, peace-loving, little ol’ me.”What conflict are you talking about?” you ask. Oh, clearly one that has existed since the dawn of man and beast (well, maybe ‘flying beast’ would be more accurate). “And how did this conflict begin?” you ask. To answer I believe one must first answer the question of which came first, the bird or the egg? You can’t say? Well then, for purposes of this tale, let’s just say the conflict I find myself now fully engaged in, started at a subatomic level, when nature had a male bird take a liking to a female (And no, this is no tale of the bees, although it certainly does go where birds fancy one another…I digress).

The two did what, well…what they do…and the lady went and laid a nest full of eggs. Then one bright and sunny day (although it could have been cold and rainy), a little boy birdie emerged into the world after expending much energy breaking through his shell.

“A fine lad,” no doubt his mother chirped. “He’ll grow up to rule vast lands and territory.” And so, Red (we’ll call him), grew and one day left the nest.

Striking out on his own, he staked out territory unclaimed by any other of his kind. Four years, yea five, passed and he decided a bird new to the Hood (who stealithily appeared–‘ey rouge–only when he chanced to pass the posterior of a nearby house) would have to go.

“This territory ain’t big enough for the two of us!” he could be heard chirping at dawn.

It took perseverence and great diligence, but he showed the newcomer who was boss, he did. At every opportunity while the sun shone, Red threw himself at the foe. The adversary, while strangely quiet and flat, tempted to resist.

“Why that bird brain,” Red declared. “Doesn’t it know I’m king? I’ll show it yet!”

And so, to this very day, Red continues his fruitless quest to conquer the villian who mirrors his every move!

Isn’t it funny how levity helps us cope with situations in which we find ourselves frustrated by our lack of ability to change? This cardinal is unwilling to take the hint and there’s not a thing I can do to fix that for I’ve tried every online remedy (remove light from the window, use Glad Press ‘n Seal and more) to no avail. I’ve just attempted a last possibility of posting an 8″ x 10″ picture of my son when he was three in the window. “They” said a life size picture might scare the menace off. Alas, Red just buzzed the window once more 😦

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23 thoughts on “The Levity of Birds”

    1. Unfortunately no… 😦

      No idea what to do other than wait until mating season ends. Hopefully his reason will return, for I’m clear it is severely lacking with his mind on other things at the moment 🙂

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    1. Shearon, what’d you do, send them down the street??? How’d you accomplish the feat? I’d love to send them further…into the bird preserve! Do tell me your secret…I beg of you…

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  1. I’m not one to advise cruelty to any creature, but one summer our house was plagued by huge ravens liked to sit on our roof or in our treetops and screamed to other ravens in neighbouring yards, non-stop. I have no idea what they were communicating, but it was driving us nuts. I finally picked up some pebbles and threw them at the bigs, to no effect other than eliciting what sounded suspiciously like avian laughter. Until one time, I actually hit one on our chimney. It made a surprised-sounding caw and flew away. Since then, about three years ago now, while we do see ravens flying by the house regularly, they’ve never chosen our yard as the place to roost and scream.

    I wouldn’t do this to a cardinal, mind you, because they’re much smaller and, let’s face it, their song is much more melodious than a raven’s. But sometimes, you have to consider the stick when the carrot doesn’t work.

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    1. Scott, understand 🙂 I’m told this behavior is attributable primarily to mating season. I’ve got my fingers, toes, arms, legs, everything…crossed, and I’m anxiously awaiting that date. For what it’s worth, my husband agrees with you.

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    1. Charles, I’m glad you enjoyed the humor. Truly, the only way I’m going to cope with this miniature menace is by laughing..and perspective. I’m thankful it’s just an annoyance, for many folks have to deal with far worse situations.

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  2. We had a mocking bird. You DO REALIZE that mocking birds will mock and mimic any sound they hear… so our CITY bird (which was nocturnal, of course) sat and did his best impersonations of sirens, car doors bleeping open, door knocking, whatever the heck he could think of… And I do believe it was related to mating season. He was GOING AT IT, until one day he finally just disappeared after a long “conversation” with another bird down the street. OY. Frustrating!

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  3. Lol poor birdy 😉 This too shall pass…my poodle-y dog used to argue with the glass on the front of the entertainment center. He just couldn’t understand…I finally convinced him to stop by opening the door and letting him sniff in the cupboard to show there was nothing there. I don’t think he got it at all. Pretty sure he just thought the dog that was barking crazily at him left the bldg. You can go to humanesociety.org/animals/resources/tips/bird_safe_windows.html
    for more tips. Good luck!

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    1. LOL! I wish I could open the windows and help this bird to understand, but since the whole back of the house (2 stories) is made of 27 enormous wndows for lake viewing, that’s not practical. This bird is rather persistent. I put Glad press n seal across the bottom row and wouldn’t you know it, where there was even the smallest gap the bird attacked… I’ll give him an A for persistence. Oh when will mating season end??? LOL not soon enough!

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  4. That’s when you call in your local griffin, dragon, or nature sprite to (a) guard your house, (b) take care of the cardinal, and/or (c) guide said cardinal away. It works 109% of the time, when you can find said local beast or sprite (which is at a 97.3% difficulty). 😉
    Good luck with Red!

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    1. Erik, no offense to the others who have commented, but I like your suggestions best 😉 I think you’re right, and have the best chance for success of any remedy. Hum… Now where to find a griffin, dragon or nature sprite…

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